Safety Third: Why ATC is So Good For Our Culture
Man, is it great to be able to watch music videos and listen to pop music again! I’ve been stuck having to watch Country – which sounds mysteriously like 90’s Pop these days – and 90’s Rock music videos just to give my eyes a break from things that can’t be unseen. And we can thank several companies and their ATC innovations for this.
ATC: Active Twerk Control
Yep, with Active Twerk Control now on board several different cordless drills, all Miley Cyrus has to do is bend over a little too far and BANG, the drill stops her instantly. You might be all about that bass, but I’m all about that butt not flying around my big screen in much larger than life sizes.
How it Twerks
So let’s say your daughter and her boyfriend are over and they start dancing to one of the latest pop songs. Just bring out your ATC cordless drill. Since you’ve cut the cord, all you have to do is make sure the battery is installed and when the dancing gets going, pull the trigger. If she starts to twerk, the ATC will kick in and stop her body in place. All she has to do is stand up straight to reset it and she can start dancing again.
Realistically, you can have a corded ATC drill, but it’s awfully awkward to keep attached to the youth in question. Cordless is definitely the way to go, even if it comes at a little higher cost.
The Bottom Line
This is a must-have product for all parents and school administrators. The value proposition is virtually immaterial when it comes to saving our youth from dancing like this.
Seriously though, no matter how conservative or liberal you are, you’ve got to admit that some of these girls are going a bit too far. After all, they’re the ones influencing the younger generation. Do you really want your daughter dancing around like that with some guy? If that’s the kind of dancing I have to look forward to, I might just move to Russia.
Hold Up Just a Second…
Wait, did you say “twerk” or “torque”? I might have missed the mark on this one…