Safety Third: Nail Guns (Humor)

Steel Toe Flip Flops

Nail Guns Have So Much More Potential!

Come on, we all thought the same thing when we first heard the term “nail gun” – it’s a gun that shoots nails… SWEET! Then when we finally got our hands on one, it was a complete disappointment. You couldn’t actually shoot nails. You had to pull down the trigger and then push the tip against what you wanted to nail. For those of us that thought we could use one hand for the trigger and the other to aim and push in the actuator… well, we have the hospital bill to prove it.

It’s time for a solution to all of that nonsense! I’m working modifying that particular “safety feature”, also known as fun-taker-awayer, and make a nail gun what we all thought it was supposed to be in the first place.

Imagine the possibilities!

Bored while installing that floor? See how accurate you can be from a standing position!

Conflict on the jobsite? Nail guns at ten paces!

President of the company’s picture on the wall? Well, maybe not. But then again….

But it gets even better! I’ve drafted a petition to the IOC (International Olympic Committee) to include a nail gun shooting competition. With a little bit of crazy glue, I can put a manual sight on the front and back to help with aiming. Add a bit of JB Weld with some steel that I’ve machined and bingo, instant scope mount!

By getting the NRA (National Rifle Association) involved, we can have archery season, muzzle loader season, general gun season, and nail gun season on our favorite game.

I think that we can probably work on some of the wiring to keep the depth of drive set at full power and instead use the dial to switch between single shot, three shot burst, and fully automatic firing modes.

Of course, for our pure pneumatic fans out there, we’ll also develop a portable air compressor that can be carried like a backpack. Granted, having to carry around a generator for power and the noise of the recharge will probably make hunting less than successful, but you’ll look really cool!

Cordless nail gun users are the real winners. With less stuff to carry around, they can be fast on their feet.  Not to leave out Paslode users, that muzzle flash generated by the gas release will mean a whole lot more to those that can see it.

After all, what could possibly go wrong?

Obviously, Pro Tool Reviews does not endorse the intentional misuse or modification of any tool, but we do hope that you had the chance to take a little break and share a laugh with us during your workday!

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