Milwaukee Tool Buys M&M Candies, Eliminates all Colors Except Red

Milwaukee Tool Buys M&Ms All Red

Stunning fans with its revolutionary marketing genius, Milwaukee Electric Tool Co announced they are buying M&Ms Candies and eliminating all colors but red. “We’re going to sell individual M18 packs with exactly 18 candies per serving,” said an official Milwaukee Tool spokesperson whose name we didn’t get because they were stuffing their face with delicious red Milwaukee M&M candies.


“This is a logical next step for us as we continue to innovate further into new markets. There’s so much room for disruptive innovation in the candy industry as well as other food industry areas. Besides, regardless of color, everyone knows that all M&Ms taste the same.”

While Milwaukee Tool is holding their plans close to the chest, we did hear some unofficial rumors. Apparently, after buying M&M Candies the company plans to develop M18 Fuel M&Ms with dark chocolate espresso chips in the near term, followed by M18 “RedLicky-Yum” Lollipops and an entire line of MX Fuel Energy Drinks.

Pricing on the new M&Ms will remain the same, though Milwaukee plans to release custom Milwaukee Packout container options for organizing and taking your candies with you wherever you go.

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